Some of my greatest life lessons come from my experience as a coach. While my job is to listen attentively, ask questions, and help clients to see their blind spots, the truth is the relationship is always reciprocal. I know I get as much as I give. Some of my most important life epiphanies and lessons have come in the coaching space.
One example with a client is a reminder that one’s perception is everything. My client, who we will call “MJ” to maintain privacy, was going through a significant transition at his job. A member of his team, with whom he was having challenges, had decided abruptly to leave. Given their tension, he wondered if it was terrible that he didn’t feel bad that the person was departing. “Should I feel guilty for not feeling guilty?”
It’s an excellent question to ask oneself. Check your conscious if it ever starts to feel good to see people out of work. However, in this case, perhaps there was more to it. The tension between MJ and his colleague surfaced because MJ challenged his colleague to do better and to live up to higher expectations. New to the company, he made changes that led to significant results. His insights yielded “positive receipts,” demonstrating that he was right about his approach. MJ’s outside perspective allowed him to SEE things differently. He uncovered some deficits and areas for improvement that no one else could see, including his colleague. In essence, MJ brought LIGHT to his organization.
For some, illumination brought by the light is a positive thing. However, as I shared with MJ in the session, light can be seen by others in a different way.
“Light can either stop you from sleeping, OR light can wake you up.”
Either way, light is a disruptor. The question is whether you see the light as stopping you from doing something, or rather is the light illuminating a new way that you COULD be doing something?
Here’s the big takeaway. MJ asked if he should feel guilty because he recognized that his LIGHT was uncomfortable for his colleague. It stopped them from continuing down the same road they had been on. And when they got tired of not being allowed to stay on that path, they opted to leave. The light was stopping them from sleeping.
But they could have looked at it another way. They could have seen that MJ was simply shining a light to illuminate the possibilities ahead, opportunities that, if pursued, would yield significant benefits. In this way, they could have seen the light as a way to be awakened to new pathways to success.
Some of us hide our light because we’ve allowed others to make us believe it is negative. But what if you could receive your light not as a curse but as a gift? What would you do, or how would you move differently if you knew you were not the problem? In fact, the problem is that those in darkness have decided to stay there. The problem should never be that you shine bright like a diamond in the darkness. Perhaps the problem is that they can not see you for the diamond that you are.
We are all light, spiritual beings having a human experience.
I say, let there be light!